i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
