eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
