I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
