the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
