I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
