I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
