Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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