Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
