He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
