Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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  (732): I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT. http://tfl.nu/aknw
  Replies (44) Good night (4794) Bad night (634)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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  (201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw
  Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (2982)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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  (352): She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game. http://tfl.nu/e2np
  Replies (7) Good night (3180) Bad night (663)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs

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  (519): her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs http://tfl.nu/0f09
  Replies (20) Good night (11694) Bad night (1553)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

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  (802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/lstw
  Replies (13) Good night (4595) Bad night (1412)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

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  (732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6
  Replies (5) Good night (3013) Bad night (2119)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.

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  (801): First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up. http://tfl.nu/q6w0
  Replies (8) Good night (3046) Bad night (1061)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you are the most awesome.

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  (704): She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket. (1-704): I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court. (704): Dude, you are the most awesome. http://tfl.nu/z7ku
  Replies (17) Good night (3217) Bad night (748)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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  (416): When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons http://tfl.nu/nkke
  Replies (5) Good night (1897) Bad night (679)
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  (650): View more from California

  At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe

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  (650): At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe http://tfl.nu/ufvr
  Replies (10) Good night (1575) Bad night (929)
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  (818): View more from California

  Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.

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  (818): Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree. http://tfl.nu/znv5
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (874)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare

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  (516): I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare http://tfl.nu/2gb3
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (354)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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  (208): Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering. http://tfl.nu/ya1u
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (483)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.

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  (416): and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation. http://tfl.nu/i67g
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (692)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?

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  (727): why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter? http://tfl.nu/8q6n
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (257)

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