Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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  (617): So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/bxwf
  Replies (13) Good night (2793) Bad night (738)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

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  (412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/rnh5
  Replies (64) Good night (3734) Bad night (5277)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

  (678): View more from Georgia

  you spelled her name wrong

  (404): View more from Georgia

  not you too!!

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  (404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer (678): you spelled her name wrong (404): not you too!! http://tfl.nu/woxr
  Replies (49) Good night (1579) Bad night (4535)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world

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  (314): We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world http://tfl.nu/8d4g
  Replies (24) Good night (854) Bad night (5210)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

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  (412): I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people." http://tfl.nu/j747
  Replies (13) Good night (1882) Bad night (4699)
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  (516): View more from New York

  id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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  (516): id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though http://tfl.nu/r22j
  Replies (8) Good night (5999) Bad night (950)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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  (703): I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order http://tfl.nu/64q0
  Replies (11) Good night (1248) Bad night (4039)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life

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  (702): i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life http://tfl.nu/bh2z
  Replies (20) Good night (850) Bad night (7957)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (7114) Bad night (1141)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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  (513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair. http://tfl.nu/sr76
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (1881)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (1032)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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  (201): For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao http://tfl.nu/eyan
  Replies (7) Good night (784) Bad night (385)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.

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  (801): Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/ql3l
  Replies (6) Good night (558) Bad night (318)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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  (403): It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/72jz
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (228)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.

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  (304): You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/0po8
  Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (518)

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