Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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(248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved

Replies (3) Good night (1464) Bad night (839)
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(216): View more from Ohio

We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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(216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif

Replies (15) Good night (2644) Bad night (727)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

(376): View more from

you are insane

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(901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh

Replies (12) Good night (3697) Bad night (977)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

..im mad u rememberd about that

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(732): i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt (1-732): ..im mad u rememberd about that http://tfl.nu/q0le

Replies (14) Good night (1056) Bad night (3475)
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(347): View more from New York

just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner

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(347): just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner http://tfl.nu/v9ac

Replies (9) Good night (6265) Bad night (1015)
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(516): View more from New York

You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.

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(516): You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food. http://tfl.nu/5019

Replies (20) Good night (3528) Bad night (1008)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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(920): The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking (920): All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo http://tfl.nu/eenc

Replies (9) Good night (2269) Bad night (885)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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(313): I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding http://tfl.nu/qljv

Replies (9) Good night (593) Bad night (2585)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge

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(336): The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge http://tfl.nu/ygw7

Replies (15) Good night (2918) Bad night (657)
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(303): View more from Colorado

can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?

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(303): can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself? http://tfl.nu/x2xl

Replies (8) Good night (1311) Bad night (443)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

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(434): Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night http://tfl.nu/pi3r

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (328)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (362)
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(585): View more from New York

They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

(716): View more from New York

So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

(585): View more from New York

Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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(585): They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years. (716): So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy? (585): Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win. http://tfl.nu/ig9q

Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (358)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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(586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu

Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (229)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.

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(586): Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too. http://tfl.nu/y4xc

Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (375)