direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face