I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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