It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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