giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
