what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
