i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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