3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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