i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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