Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
