May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
