he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
