the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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