I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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