He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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