How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
