I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
