Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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