If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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