she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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