Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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