Me. At least after what I've been through.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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