i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..