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• (949): View more from California

  hell yes lets make some ravioli

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no

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• (949): View more from California

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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• (949): View more from California

  There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  You left your hot dogs in my dresser again

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