I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?