I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
