The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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