I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
