it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
