come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize