If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
