The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
