she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
