I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize