I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
