The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize