If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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