in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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