kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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