yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
