Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
