i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
