Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
