one might say we're banned from that church
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When did angry sex become our thing?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
