Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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