SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
