I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
