She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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