Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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