I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I didn't shave. On purpose
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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