But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
