thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
