i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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