I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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