get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
