wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
